I injured myself today.
It scared me. A lot. My lower back was in so much pain. The only thing I could think of that ever hurt more was the day after a four-hour long knee surgery.
This was intense. I couldn't bend over, could barely walk, couldn't lift things or open doors without serious, sharp pain.
It turns out that it's just a pretty bad strain: a few days of heat and rest and ibuprofen and I'll be back on my feet/walking like a normal person, and I should heal fully within a couple of weeks.
My first thought, though, was "why do I keep getting injured?"
What do I keep doing wrong? What's wrong that I keep getting injured?
So this is it.
This is some kind of sign.
I need to treat my body better. I need to feed it the amount it's meant to be fed, I need to make sure those are quality calories, I need to exercise regularly (but not obsessively, and not until I'm healed up), I need to warm-up and cool-down and stretch and do strengthening exercises.
I need to put my body first.
No more restriction (semi-inadvertantly fasted for 28ish hours), no more purging (last time was Monday), no more over-eating junk (yesterday).
No more.
It stops.
Healthy living, one hundred percent.
Health and healing,
<3
--The Dancer
Oh sweetie, that sounds horrible, to say the least! I'm glad it's just a strain, but still.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it's definitely a sign that something needs to change. I've been worried about you for quite some time, about how your eating habits impact your dance and your health in general. I know it won't be easy but you have to put yourself, your body, your health first. Think about where you want to be in 10 years time and ask yourself 'will my current habits help get me there?'. I really hope this injury gives you that final 'push' to commit to healthy eating. I want nothing more than to see you striving in the right direction and kicking ass along the way.
Rest up lovely, I hope you feel better soon. Sending barrel loads of healing energy and love and hugs <3 xx
i'm sorry you hurt yourself! :( noooooo *hugs*
ReplyDeletei'm glad it's just a sprain but fuck everything could hurt like a motherfucker with a sprain as well from what i know. i smashed two of my bones before. yeah. OUCH.
and then there's me. i also hurt my lower back by having the stupidest form you've ever did see for a deadlift.
"I need to treat my body better. I need to feed it the amount it's meant to be fed, I need to make sure those are quality calories, I need to exercise regularly (but not obsessively, and not until I'm healed up), I need to warm-up and cool-down and stretch and do strengthening exercises." i've come to that conclusion as well. as well as trying to do good form before i actually hit the weights. yay for learning!
i agree with Bella. honestly, if i don't eat enough, it impacts me and i don't really need to do anything except sit down all day and study but oh my God, my studying and concentration levels were so much better during recovery. i'm able to focus on studying more. it's brilliant.
"no more over-eating junk (yesterday)." no wait i don't my heart is i am just
then again i don't really overeat junk. i eat so much junk all the time it's just normal now. xD in my head, the only important macro is protein, and everything else just falls within range if i make sure i'm getting enough of that one.
hard to hit protein goals if i'm going to be eating chocolate and crisps all day. i just usually pick one "really bad food with no nutrient value" and eat that one a day now because i am Sam. i cannot live without flirting with shit food. :3
-Sam Lupin
PS. sending you a speedy recovery my way!
Take care of yourself darling! Hope you recover from your injusry ASAP! xoxo
ReplyDelete