Monday, June 20, 2016

10 down, 21 to go.

137.4 this morning! My waist is 29.25 inches.  I can count on one hand the number of days my waist has been under 29. Usually, even with the baby four-pack (currently at little baby dents, so the 4-pack is on its way!), I'm just 29 even. You can see my ribs at 29, and the jiggle only exists in my lower belly. I just don't have a tiny waist. I'd like to see what it takes to get to 28".
But 137.4,  which is down 3 pounds from 10 days ago--to stay on track, I only needed to lose 2 pounds. So I'm 1 ahead. Yay!
Part of that, of course, was shark week, which started Tuesday and finally retreated on Saturday. Ugh.  But 137.4 with 21 days left to lose before artist lake retreat--1.5 pounds/week is 4.5 down is 132.9.  We'll see.

I wasn't as perfect last week as i had hoped--a lot of healthy food (salad! veggies! chia!) but a couple of b/p sessions, as well. And not as much exercise until the end of the week--did SOMETHING to my ankle, so took a few days off.  But I took two dance classes Wednesday, two Thursday, and one plus rehearsal Saturday and I felt really good through all of them.

This week is an intensive/audition with a local company, plus evening rehearsals for my August show are beginning. So today:
breakfast (oats, raisins, cherries, pb/coffee with soy milk)
work 8:30-9:45
snack (kiwi)
dance 10-12/12:30ish
lunch (an apricot plus tofu peanut "curry" with loads of veg--bell pepper, kale, spinach, and broccoli.  Curry is in quotation marks because the sauce is pb, water, and spices.  But it's delicious!)
dance 12:30/1ish-3
work 3:15-5:45, including snack (banana, chocolate soy milk with protein powder)
rehearsal 6-9
home, shower, dinner (HUGE salad with kale, spinach, celery, edamame, carrot, green beans, and mango).
Altogether that's 1499 cal with 76 grams of protein. Depending on how I'm feeling I might add someone homemade hummus to the salad, or have a kale and banana juice with it.

I'm going to be late if I don't end this here, but know that I'm thinking of all of you.

Stay strong, lovelies.
--The Dancer

Friday, June 10, 2016

31 Days of Perfection

So I b/p'd last night (and then ate more afterwards), but that was four full days without, which is a recent record. I also haven't done ANYTHING active since Saturday. Ugh.
I'm at 140.4 right now, which feels REALLY high, but I've spent the majority of the past year between 141 and 147, so... big picture.

Smaller picture:
in 10 days I'll start a week-long intensive/audition process for a local company.
In preparation: class+rehearsal tomorrow (Sat), rehearsal+gym Sunday, gym Monday, classx3 (modern, ballet, modern) Tuesday, class (contact improv) Wednesday, classx2 (modern, different modern) Thursday, gym Friday, class+rehearsal Saturday, rest up on Sunday to kick ass for a week straight.

Other smaller picture:
In 31 days I'll be leaving to spend a week in a dance residency with the company I've been working with. 8 days of (paid!) lakeside choreographing with some super talented people, and it's silly but I know I'm going to be in a swimsuit with some very attractive humans nearby and I just want to look good.  These dancers are also much farther along in their careers than I am, and I want to impress (I'm 23 and the next-youngest in the group are 30, which, by the way, is only "over the hill" in Classical Ballet. These people are seriously AMAZING).

So 31 days of doing everything right. Lots of water, lots of vegetables, lean protein, berries, whole grains, exercise (which I've been thoroughly ignoring, which is dumb).
If 140.4 is my "real" weight, and I lose 1.5 pounds a week over the next 31 days, I'll be down to 133.8.  That's only .2 pounds per day, which is a 745 caloric deficit every day.

Let's say it's 750 to be safe.
My BMR is 1456. On a "lightly active" day, I'll burn 2000 calories. That's just walking to/from the office, to/from the bf's place, etc.  On days I take a single dance class or go to the gym, that bumps up to about 2300. On days I take multiple dance classes or rehearse for a long stretch of time, that could be as high as 2600.
So whatever it is, I'll do 750 calories under that. If I'm not doing anything but going to the office and coming home, I'll eat 1250. If I'm dancing a little, 1500. If I'm dancing a lot, 1800. The low numbers there soothe my ED brain and the high numbers sound good to my "but health!" brain.

Today so far I've had black coffee (about 6 calories) plus tofu scramble (tofu, scallion, mushroom, tomato, and spinach). I've made a yummy green juice with plenty of water for a snack (spinach, blackberries, and raspberries) and bulk-cooked some couscous with beans and veggies at the beginning of the week that I'll have for lunch with some raspberries. All of that comes to 530 calories and 37 grams of protein, which gives me 700 calories for this evening. I might not hit 1250 today, but I ate so much yesterday that I'm okay with today being lighter.

It's an easy day, too. It's 8:30 am right now and I've been up for about an hour and a half. I don't have to be at work until 11, so I'm going to spend the extra time making up a batch of seitan (quick, on-the-go protein!) and tidying the apartment a bit.
Doing that kind of thing in the morning makes me feel... luxurious. Self-care/life-maintenance stuff so often gets pushed off in favor of being busy, so having time to really dedicate to it feels like a treat.

And, well:

Happy Friday, loves.
--The Dancer

Saturday, June 4, 2016


But this week has been a lot of b/p, so I don't even think it counts.
I still go through cycles with this: it'll be a Big Problem for 1, 2, sometimes even 3 weeks, and then not an issue for a month or more. I don't want to be doing this--it's gross and a total waste of money.
So I'm going to say that I'm not allowed to do it for a whole week. Anything I want to binge on I'll put on a list and next Saturday, if I still want to, I can go and do it then.
In the meantime: tofu scrambles and couscous and fruit and salads and hummus (yes, Sammy, hummus. Infinite hummus. I swear I could eat nothing but.)

This morning: tofu scramble with lots of veggies and an everything bagel with hummus. 570 cal, 28 grams protein. I'm headed to the office in about 20 minutes to prep for the school's Open House. I'll be on my feet from about 9-3:30, talking to college-aged dancers looking for a place to train for the summer, to adult dancers looking to learn, and to parents of children who want to be part of our youth program, selling class packages and enrollments and hopefully making A Metric Fuckton of money.

Then I'll just pop upstairs and go to rehearsal until 5. (I work in a big arts building. There are a ton of tenants, including the dance company I work for, but also a few empty studios that the center itself rents out to independent artists and the like for rehearsals).

THEN I'll come back downstairs and finish off some work at the school, probably. If I'm still standing.

I'll pack a few kiwis and stop at the store on the way to work to pick up a couple Larabars and a green juice. That's my favorite way to get through these open houses (four per year!) because you don't have much time either to sit or to eat a proper meal. So big breakfast and lots of small, easily digestible snacks.

Thank you for the comments on my hair! It was just my natural color before--a light, golden-y brown.  The pink stays until the end of July, then I have another show.

Rehearsal tomorrow morning then audition tomorrow afternoon. I might try to hit the gym after work today in preparation. If I'm being good for a week, then I should be REALLY good. If I did that, even with two kiwis, two larabars, and a green juice, I could have a protein shake afterwards and still be under 1400 cal for the day.

That sounds lovely.
--The Dancer