Man, I had forgotten how much restricting (even in the loose sense of what I'm doing) HURTS.
Hunger pangs aside, my body takes so much longer to recover from exercise, and I just always ache with a combination of muscle soreness (fine) and fatigue (not so good). My back hurts like a bitch and is tightening up like it always does when I go down this rabbit hole.
What astonishes me most is how QUICKLY it happened. A couple days of b/p, two days of semi-restriction, and BAM, there it is on the third day. My body used to be more accustomed to this, I guess. It used to know how to juggle rehearsals and technique classes and workouts on not so much food. I'm not in "starving shape" anymore.
Today was so-so. Class this morning was good but utterly exhausting, so I ended up not lifting afterwards.
Breakfast before class: oats with soy milk and cherries (300 cal)
Right after class: smoothie with spinach, cherries, and soy milk (117). Lower cal without the pear, but not so tasty. I was still shaky when I got home, though, so the combination of protein and good carbs was helpful.
Showered, then made a stir-fry with tons of vegetables, a TON (300 cal/36 g protein worth) of tofu because my muscles felt SO weak in class, then a little soy milk, 2 tbsp peanut butter, and hot curry seasoning (650 cal/51 g protein altogether). Delicious and a lot of food, but I was still hungry afterwards. Silly body.
Had work (cashiering at a huge café chain in the US), where I was on my feet for 7 hours straight. Consumed lots of tea. I was SUPPOSED to come home to half a tomato and a cup of artichoke hearts tonight, but I had to go and eat a quarter of a sprouted grain bagel (60) at work, so I lost my right to my at-home treat. Alas.
Today's total, then, is 1127.
A little nervous about tomorrow. I want to take a two-hour dance class in the morning, but I'd have to go straight from that to my internship, then straight from that to work for another 7 hour shift. Oatmeal beforehand, and something travel-able to eat the office after class (probably beans/tofu/vegetable), but I'm scared that after work I'll come home and binge like crazy because I'll be exhausted and hungry.
...but if I eat more things, I'm scared I'm also going to unleash the floodgates on a binge. No winning.
Well, we'll see.