Sunday, May 29, 2016


I knew 136.8 was too good to be true. I've been 137-138, mostly.
138 was actually the number on the scale that first started this journey. It was the highest weight I had ever seen at the time and it horrified me. Since then, I've weighed in anywhere from 127 (for a single blessed day) to 150 (for a horrifying, b/p-filled week).
Even now, four years later, I view 138 as a marker. Above it is "doing worse," below it is "making progress." So as long as I keep going down, I'll be making progress. I don't have an "end goal" in mind this time, at least not numbers-wise. Visible abs. Protruding hip-bones. I think that will happen in the mid 120s. 12 pounds to go? Yesterday it was 10.8. Boo.

But I deserve the 1.2-pound gain from yesterday. Yes, I danced an hour and a half and ran 2.3 miles and lifted, but I also had, in addition to the chia and salad listed yesterday, a ton of broccoli and carrots, half a tub of hummus (it is forever my weakness), a protein shake (strawberries/spinach/protein powder) post-workout aaaaaand the remainder of a mostly-full pint of ice cream. I could have done (and done happily!) with all of it except the ice cream. But now it's gone, so okay.

This morning was a tofu scramble with mushroom, tomato, scallion, spinach, and nutritional yeast plus a quarter cup of soy milk in my coffee (271 cal/33 g protein). Headed off in a bit to rehearsal... not sure how long it goes today, but afterwards will be the same salad as yesterday, probably with some fruit on the side (with fruit, about 400 cal/23 g protein). I'll make a list of everything I need to do soon (grant review, more grant writing, video editing, cleaning), hit the gym, shower, and get started on the list.

I'll have a a veg-focus dinner (probably steamed broccoli and hummus: 240 cal/12 g protein), then head over the bf's when his show ends around 9:30. I'm betting we'll eat a bit there, and I'm positive we'll drink (he likes mixing fancy cocktails, and who am I to say no when a beautiful man hands me top-shelf alcohol with fresh-squeezed lemons and homemade simple syrup? Have I mentioned he's amazing in the kitchen?), but if I stick to the plan I'll have danced and worked out and be clocking in at just under 1000 cal/65 grams of protein, so I'll have some room to play. These days the goal is about 1400-1600 calories, depending on the amount of dance I'm doing at the time. W definitely doesn't know about this blog, and I don't want him to find out, so I probably won't update until Tuesday evening... nor will I be able to get a morning weight until Wednesday. Eek. But that's three days of good behavior in the future, so I'm going to say... 136s. Low 136s.

Also... I dyed my hair this week. The Instagram filter makes my skin look much nicer than it is, but here you go:

Happy Sunday, my darlings. 
--The Dancer


  1. YOU ARE SO PRETTY. I don't think I've seen a pic of you before. Your hair color rocks, too.

    Your boyfriend sounds amazing, haha. I haven't had cocktails in forever, partially because I'm too lazy, sigh.


  2. i've never known your weight history before. i find it interesting.

    how is hummus your weakness? maybe i'm terrible. i mean i'm Middle Eastern and i don't fancy hummus at all. chickpeas themselves though? oh God, they're brilliant... but don't mush them up!

    *tries to stifle comment about you needing to eat more*

    oh dear God, why? why did you post that photo in the end? you are absolutely stunning! i absolutely love your hair colour too. what was it originally?

    hope i've not offended you in any way with any comment i've made or anything!

    love you to bits,
    -Sam Lupin

    PS. also, i've to say - just in case you're wondering what's on with my blog, i'll post next week hopefully ;)