Friday, September 25, 2015


Including today, 15 days 'til my birthday.
15 days for 15 pounds?

I weigh about the same that I did a few weeks ago, but I've been dancing a lot more, so I feel a lot fitter/a bit leaner.
But still.

I dunno, man.
I'm starting to be a little more social again--catching up with old friends who aren't in the area anymore, making plans with people who are. On Monday night I went to this theatre awards show (some people I've worked with won! Glad I was there to support them!) with H, my old college roommate who's heavily involved in the theatre scene here. H and I are going to a dance awards ceremony in a couple of weeks, and H, some other friends, and I are going to a burlesque show next week.
Which is to say that I'm doing things again.
Also have a crush. We'll call him W. (I should come up with better pseudonyms than just initials. Meh.) He did the lighting design for a show I was in back in May and I got to know him a bit through that; he also came (alone!) to see my Fringe show, and I ran into him again at the awards ceremony. He actually spotted me first and came to say hello.
I dunno. He's really sweet and funny and intelligent and involved in the arts and cute and I don't know how to approach him! He's involved in a show that open next week and runs for a month, so obviously going to drag H and maybe some others to see that and hope to run into him there, but otherwise... I dunno. I don't have his number, and I've never interacted with him outside of arts things, but he's wonderful and even if nothing happens, it feels so nice to have a crush again.

Having a crush also acts as motivation, right?
In a different way than the normal self-hatred that motivates. It's more positive. It's nice. You want to be better because you want someone to think highly of you, not because you hate yourself so much.

But anyway.
15 days and 15 pounds. So far today I've had hot lemon water, coffee, and oatmeal, totaling 300 calories. It's after noon. I'll probably have more oatmeal this evening, and a cup of vegetable soup (carrots, bell pepper, and butternut squash puree: 72 cal for a cup). Lots of dance tomorrow. Will report back on losses.

--The Dancer


  1. bad The Dancer. no 15lbs in 15 days.

    "I weigh about the same that I did a few weeks ago, but I've been dancing a lot more, so I feel a lot fitter/a bit leaner." then you are. that's the interesting thing about it. ive actually gained a lot of weight recently (like 20lbs) and people cannot stop telling me: you look like you've lost a lot of weight!

    i thought it was a joke when the first person told me. when the 2nd, 3rd, 4th person told me. but it's been weeks and i still hear it and it's so strange for someone to gain so much weight and people believing that i've lost it instead! what malarkey! though like you, i've been doing Zumba more consistently (which is still dancing really).

    that sounds amazing. Gosh, what i'd give to be walking around and doing things with you!

    it's nice to have a positive motivation BUT i still wish you won't eat very little, especially since you're used to a little bit more now. you can cut a little and lose instead of cutting a lot.

    take care of yourself xxx (best as you can)

    -Sam Lupin

  2. Oooh, a crush! Exciting. I am utterly hopeless at approaching crushes. I think I prefer the crush part to the dating part tbh. But I think it's always a positive to have people in your life who drive you to better yourself for the right reasons, and not because you don't feel good enough.


  3. Exciting that you have a crush! Take care! xx