Tuesday, December 3, 2013


136 this morning.
I just had to eat last night, didn't I?
Nothing on Sunday until I had to go out to eat with K's family in the evening--small salad, no cheese, no dressing, only ate maybe three of the croutons.
Spent the night there, then came back to school (though we're on winter break, I'm here working/doing my senior thesis). B/p'ed and was 134 afterwards.
Had to teach a double modern class last night, so had an apple (75) and a small handful of walnuts (150). Had an even smaller handful of walnuts (50) between classes.
So I WAS at 275 and two hours of teaching dance, and that would have been absolutely perfect.

But, of course, after I came back I had a mini-binge on two apples (150) with peanut butter (400), two flax wraps (200) with avocado (300), a carrot (25), and half of a cucumber (23). 1100 calories in one sitting. ...also 39 grams of protein, which is nice and I'm sure my body appreciates it, but, like, no. Unacceptable. I could have been 134. I could have been lower.

Instead I'm 136. Fucking fatass.

It's okay.
Today will be better.
The plan is a homemade latte (60) for breakfast. Maybe two (120). Something vegetable-heavy and under 300 cal for lunch, then to the gym, then to teach two classes. I have an hour and a half break in between, so I'll probably either bring a clementine (35) or grab a sugar-free vanilla latte (120?) from the coffee shop nearby for dinner. I'm looking at between 395 and 540 cals today, but that may change.

I have 16 days until I go home. I want to be 130 then. 6 pounds in 16 days is perfectly reasonable--that's a deficit of 1312 calories a day. My BMR is 1446 (so let's say 1400), which means all I need is a net of 90 or below every day to hit that goal. Totally manageable.
(The pipe dream is 125 by the 23rd, when I have my friend's big annual holiday party where all of my friends from home will be. 11 pounds in 21 days? Maybe.)

Stay skinny, darlings.
--The Dancer

1 comment:

  1. Please try not to panic too much about the tiny gain. I'm betting a lot of it's due to getting food and water back in your system after eating so little the day before, combined with eating late, I think it'd be the weight of the food and water you had before it's fully digested. 1,400 calories certainly shouldn't make anyone gain 2lbs of actual fat in a day (especially when it's so close to your BMR!). It won't stick around, I promise.
    Have a lovely week dear <3 xx