I drunkenly ate (and didn't purge) last night. A wrap with hummus, lettuce, and roasted vegetables. I estimate 300 calories. At midnight. Dumbass. Add to that the calories from a beer, a shot of vodka, a shot of gin, and tonic water... ugh. I just did the math. I wish I hadn't.
But I'm only up .2 pounds, which is somewhat reassuring. But if I hadn't had that at all, I would probably be at 133. Fatass.
Starting Fat Piggy's 4-Week Challenge today. The idea is to lose 8 kg/17.5 pounds in 4 weeks.
If I succeed, I'll weigh 116.7 on December 15th. BMI of 20.35.
I don't know.
I feel like I could ride this thing--no food except what I b/p--right down to the 110s. But there's always that fear that comes with excessive purging, and when I'm up to twice a day, every day... I don't know.
My conversation with K definitely impacted me. I don't want the body that purging gives me. I want one that's tiny and strong and empty, not one that's full-->empty-->full-->empty-->bloated-->dehydrated-->etc.etc.
But I also don't have a desire to do anything BUT b/p.
(And then there's the part of me saying, loud and clear, that everything's cool as long as the scale keeps going down.)
We'll see what today brings, my lovelies.