Sunday, November 17, 2013


I drunkenly ate (and didn't purge) last night. A wrap with hummus, lettuce, and roasted vegetables. I estimate 300 calories. At midnight. Dumbass. Add to that the calories from a beer, a shot of vodka, a shot of gin, and tonic water... ugh. I just did the math. I wish I hadn't.
But I'm only up .2 pounds, which is somewhat reassuring. But if I hadn't had that at all, I would probably be at 133. Fatass.

Starting Fat Piggy's 4-Week Challenge today. The idea is to lose 8 kg/17.5 pounds in 4 weeks.
If I succeed, I'll weigh 116.7 on December 15th. BMI of 20.35.

I don't know.
I feel like I could ride this thing--no food except what I b/p--right down to the 110s. But there's always that fear that comes with excessive purging, and when I'm up to twice a day, every day... I don't know.

My conversation with K definitely impacted me. I don't want the body that purging gives me. I want one that's tiny and strong and empty, not one that's full-->empty-->full-->empty-->bloated-->dehydrated-->etc.etc.
But I also don't have a desire to do anything BUT b/p.

(And then there's the part of me saying, loud and clear, that everything's cool as long as the scale keeps going down.)

We'll see what today brings, my lovelies.
Stay strong.
--The Dancer

1 comment:

  1. what is your metabolism
    can i have it
    8 kilos in 4 weeks. you girls are crazy. i'm trying to sign up for it but the thing is 1) i'm in recovery so i can't eat too low and 2) i'm not going to lose 8 kilos in 4 weeks. plus, my Father will bloody mutilate me. he always makes fun of how "thin" i am apparently.
    :/ aw i'm sorry the b/ping thing is horrid.
    yeah. i know what you mean about the whole 'everything's cool as long as the scale keeps going down thing' though my scale is selective and never really shows that i've lost weight right now. asshole scale.

    -Sam Lupin