Sunday, November 10, 2013

How can I even explain what's gone down in the past week and a half? (Hint: it's not my weight. Whoops.)
Um. Jesus fucking christ. I don't even know.
I have a friend, let's call her B. She claims that she has a history of having been raped, and up until Wednesday I was a main part of her support system and had no reason to question her.
She claims that she had been raped again over the summer, and then again about three weeks ago, then again twice last weekend, all by the same individual, who had also been exhibiting stalking behavior and using physical violence. I took her to the hospital after two of these incidents, slept on her floor, found people to be with her 24/7 when I couldn't, had her sleep in my room, etc.etc. She didn't want to report the incidents and she didn't want to tell me (or anyone else) the guy's name. Respect the survivor's decision, give them agency, etc.etc. aside, dude was getting scary, and B was clearly not in a place where she could make decisions for herself, so one night I and three other friends called security after B told me he had texted her again and she was thinking of inviting him over to "see if she could make it stop."
The next day (this is last Monday) we (the four of us who reported--B didn't know about this) had a meeting with the dean of the college about this. We had found out his name by this point and reported that when it became clear B wasn't going to. An investigation was launched, and then... B had K (the girlfriend) come over. B told K that the guy who raped her over the summer and three weeks ago (who's a student here, who's the person whose name we know) wasn't the one who had been stalking her and using physical violence. There was a second assailant who B had met at a party but didn't know his name. B wanted K to pass this message along to the four of us who had reported.
Obviously, something seems fishy.
Well, the four of us met with the dean again on Thursday, just to be told that... surprise, there's literally zero proof that ANY of this happened, there were a lot of contradictions in a lot of peoples' stories, and B, when she met with the investigator, straight up told her that she had lied about certain things.

We ("we" meaning my psych nurse mother, the psychiatrist mother of another friend involved, and K the psych major) are pretty sure, based on this and some other things, that B has borderline personality disorder. The college is looking at how they can get her psychiatric care.

Did I mention that this was happening during tech week and that all parties involved are in this dance company with me?
Oh, and that a draft of my senior thesis was due two days ago?
It's been a week.

Weight's up to 137 because stress eating + no time to purge + no time to workout + no desire to restrict.
It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be, actually.

So that's where I've been.
I'm done with B. I'm so glad that people are getting her help, but I've been used and manipulated so many times that I'm just done.
Time to focus on myself, on my work, and on my weight.

Hope you lovelies have been leading drama-free lives.
--The Dancer


  1. well i don't know about everyone else but i know my life is quite voidless. not sure if that's a good or bad thing.
    anyway, the B situation was just...interesting to read about. when i heard that she was raped multiple times in a short period of time, i began to be quite suspicious. however, the possibility of her having BPD makes it seem much clearer to me. i do understand how you feel - of being done with her. it's good that you're able to push that aside. some things are just not worth your time.
    i'm also glad to hear from you again! we miss your daily updates lady xxxx
    with that being said, i'll go read your other post. :)

    -Sam Lupin

  2. Okay, I normally don't comment on things like this because I find them triggering to read, but I have some alternative thoughts to offer.

    Let me start by saying: this is nothing more than a potential explanation by an uneducated person because a few things stood out to me. I 100% respect your opinion and how you responded to the situation. Okay.
    What got me thinking was, I'm wondering if the potential BPD could actually be Complex-PTSD (which I have). They exhibit a lot of similar symptoms, and it's likely if she has actually been assaulted several times over a period of time by the same person. It might also explain why she wanted to invite him over and lied about certain things; she may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and sympathizing with/defending her abuser.

    Those are just my two cents on the situation, though I'm probably completely wrong. Glad to see you back posting, I hope next week's kinder to you. xx