Which means, if I don't fuck up today, I'm on track to break this fast tomorrow morning.
That will be 108(ish) hours of fasting.
I hope I don't fuck it up.
I hadn't been nervous about prematurely breaking the fast before today. But
a) I agreed to go grocery shopping with my father, where I will be incredibly tempted. But this is just an exercise in willpower, and I'm not overly concerned. The bigger problem is
b) My mother, who's been staying with my grandmother up to this point, is coming home this afternoon. While my dad may not notice if I eat or not, she certainly does. Might just escape to Starbucks this evening. I suppose we'll see if I have the energy to walk that distance or not.
Bella asked if I had a plan to break my fast. Right now the plan is a smoothie made of strawberries, kiwi, a handful of spinach, and soymilk (125 cal) for breakfast, and steamed vegetables and fruit for the rest of the day.
And then, starting Tuesday, the gym and I will finally be reunited.
4.5 pounds until my first goal. My original time frame was to hit that 30 days from now. I think I can safely say I'll manage that.
14.5 POUNDS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY GOAL.
I might think about getting down to 127 and then maintaining for a couple of weeks. Ward off any maternal suspicion, make sure I'm strong enough for dance, etc.etc.
But make no mistake, I WILL be 120 or below on October 10th. I have 60 days to do it.
ALSO! I get to make seitan tonight! That's a big part of the reason I'm going to ze grocery store with my father. Seitan is a vegan protein source made of vital wheat gluten. It's chewy and lovely and for 150 calories you get 20 grams of protein. Basically, it's the best and ALSO super fun to make because you have to knead it a bit like bread and you can be like
HERE IS MY FRUSTRATION. DIE FOOD SUBSTANCE DIE!
("Grr argh" courtesy of Joss Whedon. aka the guy behind Buffy/Angel/Firefly/Serenity/Dollhouse/Dr. Horrible/Cabin in the Woods/The Avengers. aka my favorite person ever.)
Aaaaaaand I've been up for two hours. It's not even 7 yet.
I'm not good at sleeping when I fast. -sigh-
Hope you're all having lovely days.
Edit: I dunno if it's because I let myself get thirsty, if it's because I've been up for six hours now, or if it's because I spent an hour and a half walking around grocery stores and buying delicious (and healthy) food, but holy.fucking.shit. am I hungry. Making coffee now to attempt to destroy this.
...at least I know my metabolism hasn't shut down yet?