Sunday, June 9, 2013

I Suck

I really, really suck.

Had coffee yesterday morning.
At 1, had a 60 cal Starbucks energy drink thing and a 210 cal Odwalla protein bar because my hands were shaking.
That would have been lovely, had I not gone and had dinner at 6.
And then four (FOUR!) icy pops and some frozen mango through the rest of the evening.

143 this morning.

I guess I hate myself but not enough. Or I have self control but not enough. Or I want this BUT NOT ENOUGH.
Fuck.
That.
Shit.
Had a pear and coffee this morning.
I have another pear and an apple in my bag. I'll eat those throughout the day with more coffee.
(Who am I kidding, I'll probably eat like four cookies and a bag of chips and french fries and other disgusting shit.)

Ugh.
I'm just.
Ugh.


NO.
NO.
FUCK THAT.
REMEMBER WHO CONTROLS WHAT GOES INTO YOUR MOUTH?
YOU DO, BITCH.
AND IF YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND HATE WHAT YOU SEE, WHOSE FAULT DO YOU THINK THAT IS?
YOURS, PIGBITCH.
STOP FUCKING AROUND.
STOP BLAMING A LACK OF SELF CONTROL.
DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT LACK OF SELF CONTROL.

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