I want a scale.
I want a tape measurer.
I want a mirror in one of these studios so I can see if I've suddenly become a worse dancer or if I'm the same as I always was, and that's just not as good as I thought.
(Auditions for 10 more projects last night. Rejected from 7, haven't heard about the final three.)
No dance today, so no food today. Will probably go to the gym later.
Feeling hopeless again, but I know I'll bounce back.
I'm here to learn. I'm here to improve. I'm here to become the absolute best, strongest dancer I can be, and the mental game is a huge part of that.
I was rejected. Whatever. I'll try again. These aren't the auditions that matter--the ones that matter happen next year.
I will perfect my workout routine this summer, I will transform my ED into something that works for me, and I will become pure muscle. I will learn to be a better mover, I will learn to be a better choreographer, and I will take absolutely every opportunity that comes my way to become a better audition-er.
I will learn to drive when I get home. (20 and no license? Whoops.) I will renew my passport (whoops) and brush up on my German and work on that dream of one day dancing in Berlin. You need to be international in this game.
I will make it.
I will not let this get me down.