Wednesday, June 26, 2013

It's day two of the "People Break Up And Date Other People, Get The Fuck Over Yourself" debacle of 2013.
Didn't cry today.
Only ALMOST cried maybe... 6 or 7 times? That's... an improvement.
Keep feeling like I've been punched in the gut.

It's dumb.
We broke up. A month and a half ago. I have NO RIGHT to feel this way.
But there was always the part of me that thought, "no, this is just a bump. We'll mend our friendship this summer, get back to school, and realize we're meant to be together. We're going to end up together."
That's SO DUMB. So incredibly dumb.

But it's okay.
I think I've given up on being with anybody.
It seems like dating is just a way that I get rid of people. I'm not close with any of my exes, even the ones I was close to before we started dating.
So no more of that.
No more being with people.
Which means that I get to cultivate this air of being untouchable.
Perfect body (work in progress), perfect hair (growing it out), perfect skin (getting better), multilingual (gonna get my German and Spanish back), well-read, artistic, with a future.
I will be perfect, and I will not need anybody anymore.

So in a way, the "People Break Up And Date Other People, Get The Fuck Over Yourself" debacle of 2013 is a blessing. It means I have yet another reason to strive for perfection.

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